Holidays often remind us of home and family. As they say, home is where the heart is, and family is the place where you are welcomed—for who you are, as you are.
This festive season, I was reminded once more of how I view family:
Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.
Being warmly welcomed into a friend’s family Christmas gathering—despite not being related by blood—quietly reaffirmed that belief. There was a nourishing meal shared around the table, the unabashed joy of children and adults alike, and the gentle hum of loving, giving, and sharing filling the air.
I brought along a pomelo salad with smoked tofu—bright, grounding, and meant to be shared. And because no gathering feels complete without thinking of every family member, I also brought Pawntee’s Grub™ Chicken Liver–Chia treats for my friend’s sister’s dogs. (Aherm. Always.) Food, after all, is love made edible—whether for humans or furs.
Early Christmas Eve unfolded in laughter and play: rock–paper–scissors with fifty pesos at stake, testing my tying-and-untying skills (hear, hear, Girl Scouts!), and witnessing how acceptance looks when it is lived—not announced. It was simple, unpretentious, and deeply nourishing in ways no recipe card could ever fully capture.
Moments like these sit at the heart of Toyo Ba ’Ka Mo?™ (TBKM). The book is not just about food on a plate, but about why we cook, who we cook for, and how shared meals quietly stitch us into families we never knew we needed. TBKM™ is a reminder that love does not always come from lineage—sometimes, it arrives through an open door, a shared table, and the warmth of being welcomed without conditions.
Being a witness to how my friend’s family lives love—fully and freely—I felt deeply blessed. And in that moment, with pomelo in one bowl and dog treats in another, I was reminded yet again:
Family is not always inherited.
Sometimes, it is chosen—one meal at a time.
If this season has reminded you of the quiet power of shared meals and chosen family, Toyo Ba ’Ka Mo?™ (TBKM) is here whenever you feel ready.
Not as a cookbook to rush through—but as a companion for slow moments, warm tables, and the kind of love that shows up through food.
Because sometimes, the most meaningful stories are not inherited...
they are shared.
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